Writing on Wordpress

I know it must be frustrating that I relocate my blog every several months, but I have found that Wordpress is now offering free service.

http://drewdixon.wordpress.com/

Sonnets Aren't So Hard...

I had almost given up on winter yesterday. I walked outside to find it all warm and humid. It was nasty. I thought winter had, in fact, lasted about a week and then up 'n left. However yesterday was a windy day. The cool was blown back in, so it seems like I will be able to enjoy it for a few more days.

We've been studying sonnets in English. My teacher suggested that a sonnet is the masterpiece of any poet. "If you can write a sonnet, then you are a true poet!" I took this as a challenge. I decided that I wanted to try my hand at writing a sonnet.

Today during English I completely spaced out. We were talking about other types of poetry, but I was, instead, writing a sonnet. I did not find it all that hard. No, it's not perfect. But Shakespeare's are not perfect either! I did not follow the typical theme of a sonnet which is "I am so sad and lonely, life is horrible and gloomy, but when I think of you daffodils bloom." I instead decided to write about a relationship with God.

Light like the Son

Some may say life is completely empty
When living it absent from God above,
But satisfaction and success, I see,
When I look upon lives outside Your love
I see riches and wealth with smiling face.
There's love and joy with relations galore.
'Tis true that joy can be found in this place,
But more can be found elsewhere, I implore!
There are beauties upon this world that sing
Of glories found far beyond here and now.
I look to the sky, see the sun which brings
Light like the Son who has shone and will show.
So life may seem full, singing songs of love,
But the music, it falls from far above.

Winter Sets In

It's been cold for the past few days. Mid-January and winter has finally decided to stick. That's cool. It might last for a week or two. You've just got to love winter in Sugar Land.

Second semester starts in a couple of days. We had our exams last week. For some reason the school district decided it would be nice to give us exams after we came back from Christmas break. Now that the exams have happened I want another break. But we only get tomorrow off because of Martin Luther King Jr's birthday. I like celebrating his birthday, but I'd really like to celebrate the end of 1st semester with a good two or three week break. Second semester is going to be a breeze. I don't have to be at school until 8:25 and get to leave by 1:35 everyday. Of course I still have my usual after-school activities, which means I'll either be going home and coming back, or just staying in the library during 7th period. Life should chill out some though with less school going on.

I want to use my extra time in the morning and afternoon to read. Reading the Bible, reading for school, reading devotionals, reading fiction, whatever! I just want to read more. In addition to reading I want to record more music soon. I think I'm going to be recording several acoustic songs sometime soon. I'll keep you posted on how that's going down.

New Recordings

I managed to have some spare time Sunday afternoon and made a couple of scratch recordings. One of them is the song whose lyrics I posted a few days ago. The other is a song I wrote over the summer and just got around to recording. Anyway, I hope you like them.

Innocent Romance

Hypocrite

Peace in a World That Never Stops

The past two weeks have been a wild whirlwind of work and wrestling. The retreat was last weekend, so that was a bit of a break. But everything around it has been mass chaos.

The second hand is always turning
And my heart is always beating,
The work keeps coming
And I am hardly breathing.

This past week, especially, has been a doozy. I've had, it seems, endless homework. It's been crunch time for the musical because our performance is later this next week. I've had to work almost every night this week. This puts me leaving home a little after 7 in the morning, staying after school for musical practice until 5, rushing home to eat and change clothes, then running off to work from 6-9:30 and getting back home around 10 with homework and a head waiting for a pillow with eyes ready to shut.

Inside of this mess I've hardly had a chance to breathe. I think it's unrealistic that anyone should be expected to do this much. School, work, extra-curricular activities, have active relationships with friends, family, and God. I feel so disconnected from my family, friends, and from God. I'm so thirsty. So often I simply want to run away and find escape, but all I can do is turn to God.

Today has been a glorious sabbath for me. It has been a day of rest. A day to focus on God. A day to not worry about other things. Inside of this noise that has been my past two weeks, today God says:

Be silent before Me!
And let people renew their strength.
---
Your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel.
---
The poor and the needy seek water,
but there is none;
their tongues are parched with thirst.
I, the LORD, will answer them;
I, the God of Israel, do not forsake them.
---
For just as rain and snow fall from heaven,
and do not return there
without saturating the earth,
and making it germinate and sprout,
and providing seed to sow
and food to eat,
so My word that comes from My mouth
will not return to Me empty,
but it will accomplish what I please,
and will prosper in what I sent it to do.
---
I will open rivers on the barren heights,
and springs in the middle of the plains.
I will turn the desert into a pool of water.
and dry land into springs of water.
I will plant cedars in the desert,
acacias, myrtles, and olive trees,
I will put cypress trees in the desert,
elms and box trees together
so that all may see and know,
consider and understand,
that the hand of the LORD has done this,
the Holy One of Israel has created it.

So, as I sit here on the edge of this weekend about to take a downward plunge into next week, I pray for strength. I pray for water. I pray for peace. I pray for God's word to rain(reign) down on me and make me clean and saturate me. I pray for His peace to be upon me this week. And I ask most of all that the Holy One of Israel be glorified in all that I do.

Isaiah 41:1, 14b, 17, 55:10-11, 41:18-20

Jogging, Eating, Water, and Life

I took a nap yesterday.

It was amazing.

I woke up from it feeling so refreshed.

I've been so ridiculously busy since school started. I've hardly had a moment to spare. It's like one of those jogs I take in the morning. I have to keep going. Out of breath? Keep jogging. Tired? Keep jogging. Sore? Keep jogging. Oh well, I've already botched that. I've pretty much botched all those goals I wrote out in my last entry. That's alright though, no one was grading me.

It seems like when we get so busy it's easy to just live. Live a skeletal existence. Getting by on only what is necessary. I just wade through the shallow parts of life, never letting myself into the places where it becomes deeper. With this sort of existence one will never see beauty. Beauty is not a snack. Beauty is a feast. In Life of Pi, Pi hadn't realized how beautiful the ocean was because he had only ever seen it while rushing along the top on a boat. He said that it was like trying to see all the beauty of a rain forest while driving by at 60 mph in your car. Life is the same way. Beauty cannot be feasted upon quickly. Introspection is necessary. Time to slow down and bring myself deeper. But, I've gone with taking little snacks of life, with jogging through life without rest, with just the bottom of my feet touching the water.

For the past week I've felt so dry. My throat has been parched for some kind of drink. It's as if I've been operating on an empty tank. Pushing on, pushing on. I remember earlier years. Much like I wasn't able to drive, I wasn't really driving my life. My mom drove me places. She drove me to school, to piano lessons, to Boy's Choir, to church. She drove me through my homework. She drove me through life. Now I drive. I drive myself to school, home from musical rehearsal, to work, to church, to be with friend's. I drive my life too. It's so tiring. Life is a heavy thing. It's like an upside down box that I'm pushing from the inside without help. That's the mistake I've made.

Life is more than simply eating, drinking, and getting tasks done. Life should be a journey, an adventure. Adventures aren't about getting to the end. Adventures are about taking part in the beauty all around. And life should not be done alone. One will only become weary. Life is a communal thing. We are given each other so that we may do life together and bring one another love and joy.

All of this beauty that I have spoken of is inside of God. For who can eat or enjoy anything apart from him?1 So, this week, I reach up to God and ask for His living water.2 As I wade deeper into the waters of life, I hope that I can draw nearer to God. I will spend this week searching for God and depending on God. I will wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.3

1. Ecclesiastes 2:25
2. John 2:10
3. Lamentations 3:25-26

The End of Summer (and Goals for the Next Year)

Well, here it is. Summer is officially ending. I keep trying to convince myself that if I don't believe that tomorrow will happen that maybe it won't come, but it seems that there is objective truth. It seems that regardless of what I want or what I believe time will pass and when dawn breaks I will be heading to Kempner High School again.

What I simply can't believe is that I'm a senior. I have no idea what that looks like or means. I remember looking up at the seniors and saying to myself, Those guys have it all together. But here I am and I just don't feel that way. I'm asking myself, Did they have doubts? Did they have weird social situations? and it's crazy to think that maybe they never did have it all down like I thought they did. But here I go, plunging headfirst into senior year. I got a taste of it tonight. I led worship for a thing at church.
Why?
Because Bryan and Steve (the seniors who used to lead worship a lot) weren't there.
Why?
Because they're in college now.
I guess I haven't had a hard time acknowledging that they were being promoted to someone in college or even telling people, "I'm going to be a senior!" But, here I am. And it seems really hard to say, "I am a senior." It seems really hard to promote myself to that level. I don't know. I just can't believe it.
---I've decided to take the rest of this entry to throw out some goals for myself in a public place. You guys can keep tabs on me and check up and make sure that I'm doing these things. In fact, please do.

• Exercise. Not that I'm fat or anything. I just want to get my body in better shape. As a lazy American I find myself having a hard time catching my breath when I run. My way of solving this is to set out a time every morning before school to do cardiovascular exercises such as jogging or jump rope.
• Deeper, closer relationship with God. There a few spiritual disciplines that I will be attempting.
• Scripture. After my exercise time in the morning I plan on coming inside, grabbing a bottle of water, and diving into scripture for awhile. It doesn't have to be a whole lot, but I plan on just reading through various books a chapter a day.
• Prayer. After reading scripture in the mornings I want to spend some time in prayer or journaling some reflections on what I've just read. Who knows what sort of blog entries you'll find yourself reading as a result!
• Sabbath. The challenging part about this is that our culture doesn't revolve around it. In fact, our culture finds it hard to even take a break for an hour, much less 24 of them. Even today (Sunday), I had to work from 12-5! There's no escape from work. But my hope is to take (as often as I can) a day off here and there in order to just relax and focus on God. We'll see how this one goes down.
• Journal and Blog. I find it very important for me to take time to sit and let my thoughts flow. Whether it be in a public or a private way. Not only is this good for introspection, but it will also give me something to look back on in future years so I can remember all the things I went through, good or bad.
• School. In high school I've never been too terribly serious with my studies. This year I have a goal to actually pay attention and not procrastinate! If there is a project I want to begin it straight away. If I have to read a book, I want to read it (this one is already shot because of summer reading). I hope to be more serious about these things this year.
• Free time. When I'm not journaling and blogging I want to spend my free time reading. I waste too much time on this wretched computer. I don't want to do that this year. I own so many wonderful books that I should read. And I plan on doing just that. Reading.

These are simply a few. Maybe I'll even add more later. This is what I can think of for now. I sure hope you all keep me on track. And now comes there scary part: going to sleep so I can wake up tomorrow, jog, read scripture, pray, and go to school. God, be with me!

One Year In Advance

I was just running around on the internet tonight when I thought I'd stop by ACU to see what was going on. I checked the "Admissions Status" page only to find:

Your Admissions Status

For Drew Dixon

Congratulations! It's my honor to inform you that you have been accepted for admission to Abilene Christian University. The official beginning of your college career is an important step, but only the first of many....

I just got accepted to a university before even beginning my senior year of high school. At least I don't have to worry about which college anymore. Now it's just getting scholarships. But still...

Freakin' sweet.

Back In The Day

This past Friday and Saturday I was at my grandparent's house. Everything about Grandparents just amazed me. It just seems like they're always looking to give their stuff away.

My Grandpa gave me a big bag of stuff. It had books and random little gadgets and more stuff in it. He had it all ready when I got there, like a Christmas present or something. He kept asking me things like, "Would you have any use for this little flash light?" or "Would you like some shades? They're on the table if you want to take a look." My Grandma is always offering me food, asking me if I'd like a snack or desert. I think I probably gain weight every time I visit my grandparents.

Something else that simply amazes me is all of the genealogy and ancestry that my Grandpa has researched. He's managed to trace our family back to 1816! I sit here in 2007, one hundred and ninety years later, looking back and seeing, sort of, how I got here.

It turns out that my Great-Great-Great-Grandpa, John Newton Dickson, fought in the confederate army in the Civil War, my Great-Great-Grandpa, Brince Dickson, had a peg leg, and my Great-Grandpa, Edgar Dixon, fell asleep while driving a horse & buggy one night when he was just 10 years old! When he woke up the horses had stopped right outside of the livery stable! If you fall asleep at the wheel, you end up in the ditch; if you fall asleep on the horse and buggy, they just bring you right on home.

It's all so wild to learn all these things about my family's past. I guess it's just more testimony to how small I am. Life is like a book and I'm merely a page. But it makes me wonder where I fit into the whole scheme of things. I wonder what sort of impact my generation will have on the Dixon family. Back in 1816 we were in Georgia. Then, after the war, John Newton moved to Texas. We've been in Texas ever since. My Dad lived in Nederland and then moved to the Houston area. And that's where we are now. I seem to have something inside of me screaming, "Let's get out of here and go somewhere else!" My brother wants to move to Portland. I want to get out of Houston, and possibly entirely out of the Bible-Belt, but mostly I want my family to stay together, to be near one another, like we are now. I wonder, though, where the Dixon family will be centered when we're done with it?

I wonder after all of this, after my life is done and my descendants are in charge, will I be remembered? I wonder. Will they remember me or will I just be a name on a page? A limb on a tree? I don't know. I just hope I can touch the world while I'm here. I hope I'll be remembered in the lives of the people I know.

Eulogy for Little Siemens

The time has come to say goodbye and retire my phone. Poor little Siemens finally broke into two completely separate pieces. Fortunately, we had a relative of little Siemens to save the day: my Mom's old phone, big Siemens! Surprisingly enough, even though he's older he's in tip-top shape!

I simply just can't wait for our contract with T-Mobile to break so we can switch to Cingular/AT&T as fast as possible. Boy, that'll be the day.