In 2007 I...

So it's New Year's Eve and I've made a list of things I did in 2007.

In 2007 I:
Played drums in a praise band leading hundreds of kids in worship to Adonai - Starred as Jesus in Godspell (the first play I ever tried out for) - Learned how to play the ukulele for it - Was cast in a one act called "No Fading Star" as a minor role - Learned about the Jewish roots of Christianity - Played percussion in the Kempner High School Symphonic Band - Saw "To Kill A Mockingbird" at the Alley Theatre with my mom -Was cast in another one act, "Sorry, Wrong Number," as a minor role - Got a job at Family Christian Stores - Became a "passing ship in the night" with my mom - Was initiated as a thespian into Thespian Troupe 4385 - Recorded and released a full length album as Cadenza - "This Is For You LP" - Played my last concert in the regular Kempner High School band program - Took an English AP test - Finished my Junior year of high school - Took the SAT Reasoning Test - Went to Kadesh session I - Took care of my little brother, Luke for 3 days - Watched Luke accept Christ and be baptized - Turned 17 - Went on a Mission Trip to Mexico - Was informally initiated in Troupe 4385 - Had some dentist appointments - Went camping with my dad - Recorded an EP with the praise band - Was accepted to ACU!!! - Started my Senior year of high school - Starred in a musical production of Schoolhouse Rock - Learned how to play the banjo for it - Took my senior pictures - Built a Sumerian Harp with my Dad - Played in the praise band again and even sang with some guitar - Went to the homecoming game without being in band - Skipped the homecoming dance to see David Crowder in concert and become in huge fan of Phil Wickham in one foul swoop! - Hosted the Schoolhouse Rock cast party! - Starred in one act play, "Small World" - Gave blood - Visited ACU - Went to Convention! - Led worship and spoke at church - Was cast in main stage play, "The Dining Room" - Saw my first midnight showing, R-rated movie - Learned how to Snowboard - Snowboarded! - Went to San Antonio with my mom and saw Brendan and Erin get married - Started a lot of books and haven't finished any of them - Made this list of stuff I did in 2007

Through all of this I:
Discovered my passion for theatre - Made a bajillion new good friends - Developed deeper relationships with my friends Greg and Eric - Met the girl of my dreams, fell in love, and made a new best friend - Became Luke's Godfather - Continued struggling in sin - Had a flexuous relationship with God - Met Jessica and asked her out - Am finding myself growing closer to and more comfortable with Jessica everyday - Have had an absolute Blast!

Of course this list is incomplete, but this year has been full and fun! I think this has been my greatest, funnest year yet! And I haven't even gone to college yet!

Writing this list and thinking back leads to thinking forward. As adventurous and exciting as this last year has been I can't imagine it even comparing to my next! Thinking forward leads me to thinking about the end of high school, seeing a lot of people for the last time, saying goodbye to so many things. But, at the same time I'll be saying hello to new things. I approach the end of a road and the beginning of a new one.

Solomon talks about the way that time passes, "The sun rises and the sun sets; panting, it returns to its place where it rises. Gusting to the south, turning to the north, turning, turning, goes the wind and the wind returns in its cycles. All the streams flow to the sea, yet the sea is never full. The streams are flowing to the place, and they flow there again." What a picture of human existence.

I think that around New Year's everyone starts setting resolutions, assigning themselves penance, and trying to fix all their problems. The problem is when we try to fix our own problems the picture that Solomon just described plays itself out. There is a better way.

Jesus Christ, Yeshua Messiah, Son of God, God came. His blood reconciles us to Him. This word means to restore or renew. To change. We don't have to fix ourselves. God has already done it. Paul says to let God transform you by changing the way you think, by renewing your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, perfect will of God. I'm still trying to figure out how this works and how to explain it, but somehow, when I live by the Spirit of God, when I let God breathe through me, I no longer want to sin. I want to please Him. I want to live in a good, pleasing way that is inside of the perfect will of God.

I encourage you guys to step out and try this with me this year. Let's live in the breathe of Adonai. Let's walk down this road, not knowing what comes next, trusting in Him. As I approach the end of a road and the beginning of a new one I trust that God will guide me. I'm not going to assign myself penance, I'm not going to try and fix my problems, but rather let God transform the way I think and renew me. I may not feel any different right now, but if I let God in things will change.

---
Ecclesiastes 1:5-7 CSB
Romans 12:2 NLT, CSB

New Recordings

I managed to have some spare time Sunday afternoon and made a couple of scratch recordings. One of them is the song whose lyrics I posted a few days ago. The other is a song I wrote over the summer and just got around to recording. Anyway, I hope you like them.

Innocent Romance

Hypocrite

Innocent Romance

At the beginning of a whole new story
I just finished my last one
At the start of a whole new chapter
I don't know who I'll become.

Sometimes I wonder if I have a chance
At some simple innocent romance
As sure as the sun rises over the horizon
I'm stuck inside where I can't see
And I wonder if it's meant to be.

I write this song today
'Cause I don't know what will come my way
I sing this song now
'Cause I don't know how
This is all gonna finish

I don't know how this will end
But I know you're at least my friend.

The cloud sits on the ground this morning
As a sign that You are here from up above
If I don't know where I am going
At least I know I have Your love

I write this song today
'Cause I don't know what will come my way
I sing this song now
'Cause I don't know how
This is all gonna finish.

I don't know what to do
But I will rely on You
To get me through.

Peace in a World That Never Stops

The past two weeks have been a wild whirlwind of work and wrestling. The retreat was last weekend, so that was a bit of a break. But everything around it has been mass chaos.

The second hand is always turning
And my heart is always beating,
The work keeps coming
And I am hardly breathing.

This past week, especially, has been a doozy. I've had, it seems, endless homework. It's been crunch time for the musical because our performance is later this next week. I've had to work almost every night this week. This puts me leaving home a little after 7 in the morning, staying after school for musical practice until 5, rushing home to eat and change clothes, then running off to work from 6-9:30 and getting back home around 10 with homework and a head waiting for a pillow with eyes ready to shut.

Inside of this mess I've hardly had a chance to breathe. I think it's unrealistic that anyone should be expected to do this much. School, work, extra-curricular activities, have active relationships with friends, family, and God. I feel so disconnected from my family, friends, and from God. I'm so thirsty. So often I simply want to run away and find escape, but all I can do is turn to God.

Today has been a glorious sabbath for me. It has been a day of rest. A day to focus on God. A day to not worry about other things. Inside of this noise that has been my past two weeks, today God says:

Be silent before Me!
And let people renew their strength.
---
Your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel.
---
The poor and the needy seek water,
but there is none;
their tongues are parched with thirst.
I, the LORD, will answer them;
I, the God of Israel, do not forsake them.
---
For just as rain and snow fall from heaven,
and do not return there
without saturating the earth,
and making it germinate and sprout,
and providing seed to sow
and food to eat,
so My word that comes from My mouth
will not return to Me empty,
but it will accomplish what I please,
and will prosper in what I sent it to do.
---
I will open rivers on the barren heights,
and springs in the middle of the plains.
I will turn the desert into a pool of water.
and dry land into springs of water.
I will plant cedars in the desert,
acacias, myrtles, and olive trees,
I will put cypress trees in the desert,
elms and box trees together
so that all may see and know,
consider and understand,
that the hand of the LORD has done this,
the Holy One of Israel has created it.

So, as I sit here on the edge of this weekend about to take a downward plunge into next week, I pray for strength. I pray for water. I pray for peace. I pray for God's word to rain(reign) down on me and make me clean and saturate me. I pray for His peace to be upon me this week. And I ask most of all that the Holy One of Israel be glorified in all that I do.

Isaiah 41:1, 14b, 17, 55:10-11, 41:18-20

In The Critic's Chair

The critic's chair is and has always been the safest seat in the house because the critic defines himself by what he is not. It's an entirely different way to live when you actually step out and explore, affirm, create, re-create, invent, and reinvent.

-Kyle Lake, [RE]Understanding Prayer

Take A Deep Breath

NOTE: This is an essay I wrote for English. I just thought I'd share it with you all. The prompt is as follows: Choose an issue of importance to you -- the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope -- and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Have you ever noticed when going out to eat that if a group hasn’t been served drinks in the first five minutes or so they will begin to complain? Or how when someone decides that they want to go to a restaurant at six on Friday night they get frustrated at how crowded it is? Some helpless boy is sent from the car, “Go see how long the wait is.” It seems fairly obvious that when people are camped out in a line in the front lawn of the restaurant that it may take a while to be seated. The boy comes back with a shrug and informs everyone that the wait is going to be an hour, so the car pushes onward to another restaurant as if it will find one that isn’t overflowing with people at six on a Friday night.

Stop signs, traffic signals, and other cars are a nightmare for these kinds of people. For a society that wants everything else on the go, we find driving in traffic to be a sort of prepackaged frustration. Like something you could buy in one of those plastic baggies at a grocery store or at a drive-thru. People become so frustrated and angry when they have to stop at a stop sign for five seconds or wait at a traffic signal. It seems as though one minute of waiting would determine life or death. Society wants everything now and on the go. This seems like a fairly detrimental way to live.

I, myself, get caught up in this “on the go” society. Often times, when commuting from one place to another, the rush switch is flipped on and I’m sitting behind the wheel only wishing to pass everyone in front of me and get where I’m going as fast as possible. Then I ask myself, “Why?”, and I have no real answer. For absolutely no reason, I had decided to stress out and rush. One morning last year around Christmas time, I managed to escape. On my way to school I flipped on some good old Charlie Brown Christmas music. I remember that laid back jazz flowing from the keys of the piano with a hint of Christmas spirit. I was so relaxed and happy that I actually drove the thirty five mph speed limit all the way to school. That whole day was a good day.

Other times all the rush has transformed my life into a checklist. I’ve watched it turn relationships into bullets on a power point presentation. Do you ever find yourself saying to someone, “Hello! How are you doing?” and if they answer with anything other than “Good,” then you felt like you were going to be late for something? I’ve been there before. The reason is because we just wanted to check “greeting” off our list and move on. The rushing around turns deep things, like conversation, smiles, and hugs, into surface level items on a to-do list.

I believe in the simple beauties that surround us everyday, things as simple as sunshine, fresh air, and laughter. I believe in the beauty of a smile or a hug. I love finding myself among a group of friends, and it’s more than just lunch or conversation. It’s relationships between people who really know and love each other. In a society that is constantly moving, none of these beauties can be seen. I remember reading a part of Life of Pi by Yann Martel that really resonated with me. Pi said that he hadn't realized how beautiful the ocean was because he had only seen it while rushing along the top on a boat. He said that it was like trying to see all the beauty of a rain forest while driving by at sixty mph in your car. If society can’t even be patient enough to stop at stop signs for a few seconds, it certainly doesn’t have the time to let the simple beauties soak in.

I attempt to find time in this busy society, where everything is always moving, to stop and take a breath. I attempt to live a deep, authentic life in which everything I do is intentional and not just a checklist. I encourage you, the next time you decide to go to a restaurant at six on Friday night, to step back, take a deep breath, and simply enjoy being.

Rain