The End of Summer (and Goals for the Next Year)

Well, here it is. Summer is officially ending. I keep trying to convince myself that if I don't believe that tomorrow will happen that maybe it won't come, but it seems that there is objective truth. It seems that regardless of what I want or what I believe time will pass and when dawn breaks I will be heading to Kempner High School again.

What I simply can't believe is that I'm a senior. I have no idea what that looks like or means. I remember looking up at the seniors and saying to myself, Those guys have it all together. But here I am and I just don't feel that way. I'm asking myself, Did they have doubts? Did they have weird social situations? and it's crazy to think that maybe they never did have it all down like I thought they did. But here I go, plunging headfirst into senior year. I got a taste of it tonight. I led worship for a thing at church.
Why?
Because Bryan and Steve (the seniors who used to lead worship a lot) weren't there.
Why?
Because they're in college now.
I guess I haven't had a hard time acknowledging that they were being promoted to someone in college or even telling people, "I'm going to be a senior!" But, here I am. And it seems really hard to say, "I am a senior." It seems really hard to promote myself to that level. I don't know. I just can't believe it.
---I've decided to take the rest of this entry to throw out some goals for myself in a public place. You guys can keep tabs on me and check up and make sure that I'm doing these things. In fact, please do.

• Exercise. Not that I'm fat or anything. I just want to get my body in better shape. As a lazy American I find myself having a hard time catching my breath when I run. My way of solving this is to set out a time every morning before school to do cardiovascular exercises such as jogging or jump rope.
• Deeper, closer relationship with God. There a few spiritual disciplines that I will be attempting.
• Scripture. After my exercise time in the morning I plan on coming inside, grabbing a bottle of water, and diving into scripture for awhile. It doesn't have to be a whole lot, but I plan on just reading through various books a chapter a day.
• Prayer. After reading scripture in the mornings I want to spend some time in prayer or journaling some reflections on what I've just read. Who knows what sort of blog entries you'll find yourself reading as a result!
• Sabbath. The challenging part about this is that our culture doesn't revolve around it. In fact, our culture finds it hard to even take a break for an hour, much less 24 of them. Even today (Sunday), I had to work from 12-5! There's no escape from work. But my hope is to take (as often as I can) a day off here and there in order to just relax and focus on God. We'll see how this one goes down.
• Journal and Blog. I find it very important for me to take time to sit and let my thoughts flow. Whether it be in a public or a private way. Not only is this good for introspection, but it will also give me something to look back on in future years so I can remember all the things I went through, good or bad.
• School. In high school I've never been too terribly serious with my studies. This year I have a goal to actually pay attention and not procrastinate! If there is a project I want to begin it straight away. If I have to read a book, I want to read it (this one is already shot because of summer reading). I hope to be more serious about these things this year.
• Free time. When I'm not journaling and blogging I want to spend my free time reading. I waste too much time on this wretched computer. I don't want to do that this year. I own so many wonderful books that I should read. And I plan on doing just that. Reading.

These are simply a few. Maybe I'll even add more later. This is what I can think of for now. I sure hope you all keep me on track. And now comes there scary part: going to sleep so I can wake up tomorrow, jog, read scripture, pray, and go to school. God, be with me!

The Cat's in the Bag

This is what my cat does when she finds plastic bags. I don't really understand it.

I hope she doesn't get hurt someday.

One Year In Advance

I was just running around on the internet tonight when I thought I'd stop by ACU to see what was going on. I checked the "Admissions Status" page only to find:

Your Admissions Status

For Drew Dixon

Congratulations! It's my honor to inform you that you have been accepted for admission to Abilene Christian University. The official beginning of your college career is an important step, but only the first of many....

I just got accepted to a university before even beginning my senior year of high school. At least I don't have to worry about which college anymore. Now it's just getting scholarships. But still...

Freakin' sweet.

Shalom of Adonai

The stars weren't very loud last night, but the wind sang through the trees. The leaves were singing choruses; all saying the same line: "Ssshhhhh..." Like a graceful animal in deep slumber, nature took slow, deep breaths.

I was drawn in. All of creation was lulling me into the shalom of Adonai. There was nothing to worry about. My heart beat and my breath in sync with the rhythm of nature.

A soft buzz in my hand, I answered my phone to hear her sweet voice greet me. I could do nothing but smile and tell her of the clouds floating by above the canopy of singing leaves. I wished so much for her to be there with me. We wouldn't have to talk. We could just listen to the music. We wouldn't interrupt, but sing along; gracing one another with our presence. What would there be to worry about? We would just simply be. Our souls sitting there so intimate, so close. We would be sharing in the shalom of El Shaddai Adonai. But as it is this has not yet come to pass.

All I can do
Is hope and pray
That Adonai would send us
Each other's way.

But for now I sit
And breathe with the wind.
I sing with the trees
And take it all in.

My life is at peace
As I breathe Your shalom.
I know that I'm here
And that I'm heading home.

Back In The Day

This past Friday and Saturday I was at my grandparent's house. Everything about Grandparents just amazed me. It just seems like they're always looking to give their stuff away.

My Grandpa gave me a big bag of stuff. It had books and random little gadgets and more stuff in it. He had it all ready when I got there, like a Christmas present or something. He kept asking me things like, "Would you have any use for this little flash light?" or "Would you like some shades? They're on the table if you want to take a look." My Grandma is always offering me food, asking me if I'd like a snack or desert. I think I probably gain weight every time I visit my grandparents.

Something else that simply amazes me is all of the genealogy and ancestry that my Grandpa has researched. He's managed to trace our family back to 1816! I sit here in 2007, one hundred and ninety years later, looking back and seeing, sort of, how I got here.

It turns out that my Great-Great-Great-Grandpa, John Newton Dickson, fought in the confederate army in the Civil War, my Great-Great-Grandpa, Brince Dickson, had a peg leg, and my Great-Grandpa, Edgar Dixon, fell asleep while driving a horse & buggy one night when he was just 10 years old! When he woke up the horses had stopped right outside of the livery stable! If you fall asleep at the wheel, you end up in the ditch; if you fall asleep on the horse and buggy, they just bring you right on home.

It's all so wild to learn all these things about my family's past. I guess it's just more testimony to how small I am. Life is like a book and I'm merely a page. But it makes me wonder where I fit into the whole scheme of things. I wonder what sort of impact my generation will have on the Dixon family. Back in 1816 we were in Georgia. Then, after the war, John Newton moved to Texas. We've been in Texas ever since. My Dad lived in Nederland and then moved to the Houston area. And that's where we are now. I seem to have something inside of me screaming, "Let's get out of here and go somewhere else!" My brother wants to move to Portland. I want to get out of Houston, and possibly entirely out of the Bible-Belt, but mostly I want my family to stay together, to be near one another, like we are now. I wonder, though, where the Dixon family will be centered when we're done with it?

I wonder after all of this, after my life is done and my descendants are in charge, will I be remembered? I wonder. Will they remember me or will I just be a name on a page? A limb on a tree? I don't know. I just hope I can touch the world while I'm here. I hope I'll be remembered in the lives of the people I know.

Eulogy for Little Siemens

The time has come to say goodbye and retire my phone. Poor little Siemens finally broke into two completely separate pieces. Fortunately, we had a relative of little Siemens to save the day: my Mom's old phone, big Siemens! Surprisingly enough, even though he's older he's in tip-top shape!

I simply just can't wait for our contract with T-Mobile to break so we can switch to Cingular/AT&T as fast as possible. Boy, that'll be the day.

The Horizon or (Thoughts From A Plane Ride)

People are so small. It seems like I write about this every few weeks, but it's so true and it's hard to really let it sink in. I mean, even mountains aren't really very big comparatively. They're simply freckles on the face of the earth.

People are so organized and tidy. We have everything laid out into blocks and roads and intersections. I sit here caught up somewhere between heaven and earth wondering whether any of that organization really matters. I'm floating on the clouds and everything around is so blue! And there's a little line where I suppose the heavens collide with the earth. We'll call that the horizon. But even then, I can barely see the separation. Where does the sky stop and the earth start? I can't even tell.

I wonder, though, if we aren't a lot like this: caught up somewhere between the physical and the spiritual. Sometimes I can't really tell where one stops and the other starts. Maybe they're woven so closely together that they're one.

I just don't know. I guess I'll call it the horizon.

Something About Scripture

I don't understand it. But something about scripture resonates with the soul. It's like warmth. It's like clear, running water. It's like hot tea late at night. It's like hugs. It's like love. It's like pillows. It's like a blanket. It's like holding hands. It's like soft music. It's like resonating strings. It's like a pure voice singing through the air. It's like a dove. It's like a deep conversation late at night. It's like a cup of coffee with a friend. It's You.

In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.