Weeping while watching

Weeping while watching the world wander 'round.
And the world wanders 'round and I wonder why.

"Why," I sigh as I eye the sky.
Why try to fly if we all simply die?

I suppose living is leaving a legacy,
I suppose he who lives holds the heart of humanity.

Though my life may be a life short lived,
I pray it give God glory, inspiring others who live.

Life is not about me and how high I can fly.
So I watch to world weeping and know the glory is God's.

Love and Romance, Romance and Love

Romance is nice, but not necessary. What is needed is love.

Like DP and water. Dr. Pepper is nice, but not necessary. One only needs water for life.

This is the problem with teenagers. Love is confused with romance and romance with love. It is believed that without romance one is without love. Or one will yearn so much for romance that love is lost.

Love lives in life and relationships. Romance is but one form or flavor of this greater thing that is love.

So let us know that romance may be desired, but is never required.

Sonnets Aren't So Hard...

I had almost given up on winter yesterday. I walked outside to find it all warm and humid. It was nasty. I thought winter had, in fact, lasted about a week and then up 'n left. However yesterday was a windy day. The cool was blown back in, so it seems like I will be able to enjoy it for a few more days.

We've been studying sonnets in English. My teacher suggested that a sonnet is the masterpiece of any poet. "If you can write a sonnet, then you are a true poet!" I took this as a challenge. I decided that I wanted to try my hand at writing a sonnet.

Today during English I completely spaced out. We were talking about other types of poetry, but I was, instead, writing a sonnet. I did not find it all that hard. No, it's not perfect. But Shakespeare's are not perfect either! I did not follow the typical theme of a sonnet which is "I am so sad and lonely, life is horrible and gloomy, but when I think of you daffodils bloom." I instead decided to write about a relationship with God.

Light like the Son

Some may say life is completely empty
When living it absent from God above,
But satisfaction and success, I see,
When I look upon lives outside Your love
I see riches and wealth with smiling face.
There's love and joy with relations galore.
'Tis true that joy can be found in this place,
But more can be found elsewhere, I implore!
There are beauties upon this world that sing
Of glories found far beyond here and now.
I look to the sky, see the sun which brings
Light like the Son who has shone and will show.
So life may seem full, singing songs of love,
But the music, it falls from far above.

New Recordings

I managed to have some spare time Sunday afternoon and made a couple of scratch recordings. One of them is the song whose lyrics I posted a few days ago. The other is a song I wrote over the summer and just got around to recording. Anyway, I hope you like them.

Innocent Romance

Hypocrite

Innocent Romance

At the beginning of a whole new story
I just finished my last one
At the start of a whole new chapter
I don't know who I'll become.

Sometimes I wonder if I have a chance
At some simple innocent romance
As sure as the sun rises over the horizon
I'm stuck inside where I can't see
And I wonder if it's meant to be.

I write this song today
'Cause I don't know what will come my way
I sing this song now
'Cause I don't know how
This is all gonna finish

I don't know how this will end
But I know you're at least my friend.

The cloud sits on the ground this morning
As a sign that You are here from up above
If I don't know where I am going
At least I know I have Your love

I write this song today
'Cause I don't know what will come my way
I sing this song now
'Cause I don't know how
This is all gonna finish.

I don't know what to do
But I will rely on You
To get me through.

In The Critic's Chair

The critic's chair is and has always been the safest seat in the house because the critic defines himself by what he is not. It's an entirely different way to live when you actually step out and explore, affirm, create, re-create, invent, and reinvent.

-Kyle Lake, [RE]Understanding Prayer

Shalom of Adonai

The stars weren't very loud last night, but the wind sang through the trees. The leaves were singing choruses; all saying the same line: "Ssshhhhh..." Like a graceful animal in deep slumber, nature took slow, deep breaths.

I was drawn in. All of creation was lulling me into the shalom of Adonai. There was nothing to worry about. My heart beat and my breath in sync with the rhythm of nature.

A soft buzz in my hand, I answered my phone to hear her sweet voice greet me. I could do nothing but smile and tell her of the clouds floating by above the canopy of singing leaves. I wished so much for her to be there with me. We wouldn't have to talk. We could just listen to the music. We wouldn't interrupt, but sing along; gracing one another with our presence. What would there be to worry about? We would just simply be. Our souls sitting there so intimate, so close. We would be sharing in the shalom of El Shaddai Adonai. But as it is this has not yet come to pass.

All I can do
Is hope and pray
That Adonai would send us
Each other's way.

But for now I sit
And breathe with the wind.
I sing with the trees
And take it all in.

My life is at peace
As I breathe Your shalom.
I know that I'm here
And that I'm heading home.

Back In The Day

This past Friday and Saturday I was at my grandparent's house. Everything about Grandparents just amazed me. It just seems like they're always looking to give their stuff away.

My Grandpa gave me a big bag of stuff. It had books and random little gadgets and more stuff in it. He had it all ready when I got there, like a Christmas present or something. He kept asking me things like, "Would you have any use for this little flash light?" or "Would you like some shades? They're on the table if you want to take a look." My Grandma is always offering me food, asking me if I'd like a snack or desert. I think I probably gain weight every time I visit my grandparents.

Something else that simply amazes me is all of the genealogy and ancestry that my Grandpa has researched. He's managed to trace our family back to 1816! I sit here in 2007, one hundred and ninety years later, looking back and seeing, sort of, how I got here.

It turns out that my Great-Great-Great-Grandpa, John Newton Dickson, fought in the confederate army in the Civil War, my Great-Great-Grandpa, Brince Dickson, had a peg leg, and my Great-Grandpa, Edgar Dixon, fell asleep while driving a horse & buggy one night when he was just 10 years old! When he woke up the horses had stopped right outside of the livery stable! If you fall asleep at the wheel, you end up in the ditch; if you fall asleep on the horse and buggy, they just bring you right on home.

It's all so wild to learn all these things about my family's past. I guess it's just more testimony to how small I am. Life is like a book and I'm merely a page. But it makes me wonder where I fit into the whole scheme of things. I wonder what sort of impact my generation will have on the Dixon family. Back in 1816 we were in Georgia. Then, after the war, John Newton moved to Texas. We've been in Texas ever since. My Dad lived in Nederland and then moved to the Houston area. And that's where we are now. I seem to have something inside of me screaming, "Let's get out of here and go somewhere else!" My brother wants to move to Portland. I want to get out of Houston, and possibly entirely out of the Bible-Belt, but mostly I want my family to stay together, to be near one another, like we are now. I wonder, though, where the Dixon family will be centered when we're done with it?

I wonder after all of this, after my life is done and my descendants are in charge, will I be remembered? I wonder. Will they remember me or will I just be a name on a page? A limb on a tree? I don't know. I just hope I can touch the world while I'm here. I hope I'll be remembered in the lives of the people I know.

The Horizon or (Thoughts From A Plane Ride)

People are so small. It seems like I write about this every few weeks, but it's so true and it's hard to really let it sink in. I mean, even mountains aren't really very big comparatively. They're simply freckles on the face of the earth.

People are so organized and tidy. We have everything laid out into blocks and roads and intersections. I sit here caught up somewhere between heaven and earth wondering whether any of that organization really matters. I'm floating on the clouds and everything around is so blue! And there's a little line where I suppose the heavens collide with the earth. We'll call that the horizon. But even then, I can barely see the separation. Where does the sky stop and the earth start? I can't even tell.

I wonder, though, if we aren't a lot like this: caught up somewhere between the physical and the spiritual. Sometimes I can't really tell where one stops and the other starts. Maybe they're woven so closely together that they're one.

I just don't know. I guess I'll call it the horizon.

Something About Scripture

I don't understand it. But something about scripture resonates with the soul. It's like warmth. It's like clear, running water. It's like hot tea late at night. It's like hugs. It's like love. It's like pillows. It's like a blanket. It's like holding hands. It's like soft music. It's like resonating strings. It's like a pure voice singing through the air. It's like a dove. It's like a deep conversation late at night. It's like a cup of coffee with a friend. It's You.

In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.